Vtipy

[Mácaman]

no snad to pry vtip neni, ale o to vic je to vtipne vudce mezi kefiry, toho musim mit

http://www.kefirer.cz/

[Discordian]

A komu by neulahodil kefír, může si dát čerstvé mlíčko.

http://www.mlikomous.cz/

[Fun1k]

Všichni jsou Dex

[Iluzon]

We must go deeper

[Elevea]

Možná to tu někde je, ale svým způsobem je to aktuální. Vzhledem k situaci, která se odehrává kolem platů řidičů, a která se nyní řeší v evropské komisi, zapadl několik let starý návrh, kdy Němci svolili k tomu, aby byla angličtina uznána jako hlavní evropský jazyk. Samozřejmě s několika dodatky:

The European Commission

The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender. Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and allow one key less on keyboards.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" is disgrasful.

By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer. ZE DREM VIL FINALI COM TRU!

Herr Schmidt

A tady přidávám něco jen pro silné povahy

[Mácaman]

[Quint-t-W]

[Intrix]

This car has 240% of a horse's decision-making ability and produces only 30% as much poop.

[Elevea]

Lovecká sezona se blíží. Je dobré být řádně vybaven.

A nakonec komentář k tomu, proč Američani "vyhrávají" války.

[Fun1k]

Toto ani není vtip, ale taková ironie se jen tak nevidí